History of dating services
Our conversation has been edited for brevity and clarity.What you point out is how, even from the early days of dating in the early 20th century, we've talked about it as a form of shopping -- and as a game.
I feel like that era was fun — with the serious proviso that if you were queer, not white, not middle class, it was not fun.
This is your first book, and it got a lot of attention (in the New Yorker, the Atlantic, and the New York Times).
You write that dating protocols change so quickly, and thus inspire a lot of anxiety and bewilderment.
I think that’s a lot of people’s experience of the new digital dating culture, and we could really use a social and historical guide to help us understand where we are. I think there’s still a huge gap for comprehensive, deep thinking about these subjects.
You note that we’ve become more "educated consumers" in terms of how taste informs whom we choose to date and what kind of sex we seek. , which is mostly about fulfilling the male fantasy of easily getting women into bed, you’re encouraged to "think of tonight as a video game." But with that, there’s a loss of connection with your own emotions, which is sad.