Hi Evan, I’ve been reading your blogs and following all your advice.After several failed relationships, I finally found someone who is all the things you say that a real man should be. I am a non-smoker and have never dated a smoker in the past, but I am in my mid 30’s and ready for marriage.The other day he told me that he has already started looking for a house for us and that he plans to marry me next year and wants to start a family a year later.
He is too, but his smoking is the only issue we keep arguing about.
He says he is trying to kick the habit for me, but he has failed to do so and it seems he smokes even more after each failed attempt.
If you choose to deem them all important, your dating pool shrinks considerably. So this really comes down to something quite simple: Presuming he smokes for the rest of his life, can you be happy with him? At the same time, I’d venture to guess that those are the women whose relationship advice you may not want to follow. To be ready for marriage, and find a guy who is perfect in every way except for that one thing…! A deal breaker is only a deal breaker if you say that it is.
Or would you be happier without him – breaking up with him at this very moment to find a guy JUST like him… I’m not telling you the answer; I’m outlining your two choices. As such, the answer of what exactly constitutes a deal breaker will be different with every person you talk to.
I just wish they had made better choices in regard to their health. And for as bad as this makes me look, I’ll admit that part of me resented the hell out of that. In my early 30s, both of my parents died of cancer. I absolutely refuse; I don’t have it in me to do it again.